Exemplar
Creative
writing.
This creative piece received a Band 6 in the HSC Area of Study 'Journeys'. It has strong links to 'Discovery'.
Life is a Side Walk by Lucy Parrish
Although we had only been walking for a couple of minutes, time seemed to have transcended any medium capable of restricting it to its logical seconds, minutes and hours. My son; an inquisitive six year old, was passing through a phase of trying to extract meaning from his sandpit, felt tip pen, Thomas the Tank Engine filled world. He had asked me a question which had neither ever crossed my mind, nor required any thought because, to me, the answer was obvious.
“Daddy…will you think about me when I die”
“Sure, how could I ever forget you?”
The wind had been crisp that morning as we walked to Adam’s day care. Both of us had buried our chins in our scarves, our arms twisted around our bodies like flames licking a piece of fire wood. Adam had spent what seemed like hours to me, attempting to tuck his sleeves into his gloves, just like I had, to prevent the cold air from scourging its way to our skin, piercing our flesh with its biting chill.
The thought of Adam leaving me had never crossed my mind, presumably because it had seemed like he had only just entered the world, why would I ever think of him leaving? But Adam’s current mentality; his determination to try and understand all that was important to him food, sleep, school, his Mother and I, had caused him to accumulate a hundred and one questions which he decided to drown me in on our way to Kindy that morning. I must admit I found it surprising that Adam had managed to recognise that every part of his life had some sort of purpose, meaning, affect of him, when I had only recently made this discovery. Lord only knows why he cared so much about defining everything to a comprehendible factor, but to him it was his job to ask questions and mine to answer them. It had turned into a demonstration of my life, paralleled with my son’s, flashing before my eyes in a matter of pedestrian crossings.
“There is a girl who sits next to me, she always smiles at me”
“Are you two friends?”
“No Dad, she’s a girl, she lets me use her yellow pencil though”
“That’s nice of her”
“Dad, when I’m bigger, will I have girls who are friends”
“Yeah son, you get used to them after a while”, that was all I knew how to say. I remember the first time I ‘noticed’ a girl, I had been about nine, her name was Jenny Silas and she lived next door. The moment I saw her I fell in love with her, all I wanted was for her to come over and talk to me, or just smile, so I knew she noticed me.
I couldn’t believe it, we were only three streets away from our house and already I was back in year one, back in love with Jenny Silas.
“And Dad, do you think me and Chloe will live together like you and Mummy?”
“Is Chloe the one who sits next to you?”
“Yes.”
“Maybe, if you two become good friends then you might.” I had never got to become friends with Jenny Silas, even though I had been sure I was desperately in love with her, that I was going to marry her, she ended up moving away only a month after she had moved next door. I was devastated.
Already Adam had taught me something I never knew: you are never really aware of something, appreciative of someone, when they are right in front of you.
The problem that Adam had managed to highlight as we turned the corner, passed ‘Will’s Luxury Dry Cleaning’, was that I had always assumed I was in love, when I actually wasn’t, and then when I had met the girl of my dreams, Adam’s mother, I had never realised she was the one for me until much later. Life is unexpected, things can pop up at any given moment.
Adam stepped out onto the curb. “Adam! Look both ways remember!” a car had screeched around the corner unpredictably.
Think about what made this story successful. What links to discovery could you ascertain? How did the story reveal character traits?
